Vocalist Laura Windley opens the show with a number fresher than Starkist tuna. Ethan plays a polka written for a Civil War Sanitary Fair, and he explains what a Sanitary Fair is (no, it is not a soap circus). Then Ethan puts together a complicated Piano Puzzle, sings a song about a spunky country girl named Neuralgia and, finally, presents an epic narrative ballad about a couple who fall in love, get married, have children, and die - without ever leaving the confines of JC Penney. 

Ethan puts together a train-themed episode. First he sings a song that rhymes just about every train line from the Cotton Belt to the Wabash Cannonball. Then he plays a Scott Joplin march about a massive train collision. After that, Ethan reveals his true nature as a hardened criminal. He takes out his revolver, puts a bandana over his face and holds up a train. Finally Ethan plays a WC Handy number about the Ole Miss - fastest train out of Memphis.